What Everyone in the DC Area Was Up to Two Hours Ago:

A smartphone screen displays an 'Emergency Alert' from the National Weather Service warning about a 'Snow Squall' with instructions to slow down or delay travel due to near-zero visibility and icy roads. Below, two men in outdoor gear stand in a forest, looking confused. The man on the right has his mouth open as if speaking, while the man on the left looks on. The text overlay reads 'I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK A SQUALL IS.'

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